I'm Praying for People I Hate

And it's the most absurd thing I've ever done as a Christian

I am always amazed by people who can consume breaking news and, within the hour, present a beautifully articulated response. That’s a gift, truly. It’s just not mine.

I’m a slow processor. I have an unfiltered quick wit, sure. But it takes me a minute to gather information, sort through the real from the fake, and formulate my opinion into a helpful essay for the masses. No one will benefit from my quick wit showing up on the internet, where it will live in infamy for all eternity.

This is one of the many reasons I choose to focus on equipping rather than reacting, on formation rather than information.

It’s not because I don’t care about the news or politics. (Well, I kinda don’t care about politics, specifically, but that’s not the point.) And it’s definitely not that I have my head in the sand about the state of our nation. Even though I am no longer on social media and refuse to read an algorithmically-driven news feed, the news still finds me. Trust me, I know what’s happening and I have BIG FEELINGS about it all.

From the very first time I opened my home to women in 2001 (my literal home to my IRL neighbors), I have sought to be an oasis, a reprieve, a breath of fresh air to the women I serve. When I started my podcast in 2019 and especially throughout the pandemic when the internet lost its ever-loving mind, I prayed that God would make me the non-anxious voice in the middle of the chaos.

I am certain of my God-given calling, and it’s not to add to the noise, but rather to help you abide in the Vine when the noise becomes deafening.

The other night, I was on the phone with a loved one whose family is deeply, personally impacted by decisions being made right now in Washington. He is angry and scared, and he is making preparations to ensure his family’s safety. I listened and cried with him. I asked questions and offered empathy. But in my attempt to be the non-anxious voice, I think it came off more as platitudes. Like “calm down, it’s all gonna be fine.” Like I didn’t fully grasp the gravity of the situation.

I felt helpless.

I love these people more than I can adequately express here. I am appalled by the leaders making these decisions. I am appalled by the people carrying them out. I am shocked and sickened by the violence and manipulation. I have words about it all—so many words. It would be so easy for me to get on here and use my platform to join the growing voices of outrage, in an effort to facilitate change for the people I love.

But that felt out of alignment with my calling.

So instead of reacting publicly, I went to Jesus.

Lord, how am I to respond? What am I to do? How can I possibly make a difference in this seemingly hopeless situation?

And Jesus led me to The Sermon on the Mount. Found in Matthew chapters 5-7, this is Jesus’ longest recorded teaching in the Gospels — a concentrated snapshot of what life in the kingdom of God looks like from the inside out.

Tucked within this sermon is this:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” -Matthew 5:43-45

Later that morning, as I walked through the neighborhood, thinking about this passage in light of the news, my feelings, and the (justifiable) fear and anger of my loved ones, I sensed the Lord telling me to pray for my enemies. The people I’m angry with. Those in power who appall me.

UGH!

Loving your enemies and praying for those who persecute you sounds reasonable until your enemy has a title, a name, and the power to harm you and your family.

So, right there on my walk, I prayed for them. Not just a “get ‘em, Lord” kind of prayer, which is how I most often pray for people who mistreat me.

But I prayed blessings over them and their families.

I prayed that God would surround them with God-fearing followers of Christ to speak truth into their hearts and minds.

I prayed that God would give them wisdom as they lead our country and make decisions and carry out their duties.

I prayed that God would change their hearts and call them to repentance and submission to the Lord.

You guys, this is absolutely absurd.

I can honestly say, in the forty years I have faithfully walked with the Lord, I have never prayed for my enemies like this. I’m praying for wisdom and blessing over people I believe are acting foolishly and cruelly. This makes no earthly sense.

And yet — this is a radical demonstration of what it means to live as a disciple of Jesus in this upside-down kingdom.

When I got home from my walk, I added my enemies to my prayer list. I listed them by name inside the cover of my beloved journal.

There, sandwiched between my children’s names and my closest friends, are the names of powerful men who are making decisions I find unconscionable.

Men I actively dislike. Men whose actions I find detestable. Men I would avoid at all costs. (I want to say I hate them, but I am sure Jesus would advise against this.)

But in that act of adding their names to my prayer list, I felt a shift in my posture. Rather than helplessness, I felt strength and hope.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” —Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is life-changing, and I don’t say that lightly. I believe this type of prayer has power — power to change my enemies, power to change the situation, and power to change me. If everyone who calls herself a follower and disciple of Christ did this one thing — loved her enemies and prayed for those who persecute her — can you imagine the impact on our nation? On the world?

I’m not saying we don’t need Christians in politics — we desperately do.

I’m not saying we don’t need people serving on the ground — by all means, if you can, go.

I’m not saying we don’t need wise teachers on the internet crafting in-the-moment commentary to help us think biblically about current events — if that’s you, please keep on.

But we also need this: ordinary followers of Jesus doing the extraordinary work of praying for our enemies.

I’m telling you, this is not normal. This is upside-down. This is counter-cultural. AND this is how we abide.

This is how people like me and you — the slow processors and the non-anxious voices — participate in God’s upside-down kingdom. Not with our heads in the sand, but with our hearts firmly rooted in the true Vine.

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Want to go deeper? Here are some resources:

To learn more about loving your enemies in today’s world, check out The Living Un-Offended Podcast with Brant Hansen for short weekly episodes of what this looks like in practice. It’s through the encouragement in this podcast that God led me to consider praying for my enemies in this way.

To hear me interview Brant Hansen, listen to our conversation on The Balanced MomCast here.

To lean more deeply into abiding in Christ in 2026, join us for The Abide Sessions.