Not a Holiday Pep Talk

But instead, PERMISSION

Last week I was making homemade vegetable soup and warming up bread in the oven when Jon walked in the door after work. He said, “I LOVE walking into the house after a long day at work when it smells like good food.”

Such a sweet compliment.

I replied, "I would love to walk into the house after a long day and have it smell like good food, too. But unless I make the food, walk out of the house, and then walk back in, that ain’t happening.”

And we laughed and laughed, cuz it’s true.

For that soup to be ready when he walked in

• I browsed my cookbooks and created a meal plan and grocery list the day before,

• I dropped Elliana off at school at 8 am that morning and drove directly to the grocery store where I selected and purchased $250 worth of groceries for the week (including all the ingredients for the soup),

• I came home and put away $250 worth of groceries,

• I left again for most of the day to complete several out-of-the-house appointments and errands before returning home at 3:30 pm to prep veggies for the soup,

• Then I had to leave the soup half-finished so that I could return to my car (in rush hour traffic—ugh) for a 90-minute round trip to pick up Elliana from theater rehearsal,

I returned home again at 6 pm to finish the soup, set the table, light candles (yes, I did!), turn on my Jazz for Autumn playlist, and pop some frozen bread into the oven…

At which point Jon walked into a relaxed home to enjoy a delicious and aromatic meal.

Not the actual soup, but homemade soup nonetheless.

This got me thinking about the holidays.

Today is one week before Thanksgiving and five weeks before Christmas, and this is what I know about YOU:

• By now, you’ve already made tons of plans. If not on paper, then in your head.

• You’ve created lists: (Hopefully one of those lists is your Holiday To-Don’t List) But probably also your Christmas gift idea list for kids and loved ones, a guest list for the events you’re hosting, a grocery list for Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas card recipient list, and multiple-many to-do lists.

• Maybe you’ve started pulling out seasonal recipes and cookbooks.

• Maybe you’ve already put up your tree.

• You’ve set dates and times for gatherings and have already sent emails and group texts making sure everyone knows when to arrive and what to bring.

• If you’re traveling, you’re making those arrangements (when you will leave, what you need to pack, where you will stay.)

• If your kids have holiday pageants, concerts, and/or classroom parties, you are managing all of that, too.

• You will purchase and wrap the teacher gifts and send in the cookies and napkins for the party and show up to the Muffins with Mom holiday thing at school. 

As Mom, you are The Curator of The Holidays. This, on top of everything else you already do.

And just like my husband walked into the house and everything smelled delicious and looked amazing, your loved ones (especially your kids) (and maybe also your husband) will show up and enjoy the sights, smells, tastes, and traditions that you managed to create when no one was looking. 

The holidays will be beautiful and memorable because of YOU.

Well done, mama.

But here’s what I know from personal experience: Amid all the extra—extra time, extra activities, extra food, extra work, extra spending—if you do not also carve out some space to take care of yourself, you will crash. Even if you don’t crash on the outside, you will be miserable on the inside.

Photo by Masoud Mostafaei on Unsplash

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Last week, I recorded a whole different pre-Thanksgiving podcast episode for you. It was all about mindset shifts. I worked on it for hours.

But almost immediately after I finished recording it, I thought, this is NOT what you need.

You don’t need a mindset shift.

You don’t need ideas or tips to create a beautiful holiday experience for your people.

You don’t even really need a pep talk.

Instead, I sense that you need permission. 

Permission to take good care of yourself from now until the end of the year.

So I deleted the whole episode and recorded this instead.

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Now, go create your Holiday To-Don’t List.

Love,

Sandy

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