The Challenges and Joys of Living Without a Smartphone
EP248 w/ Teresa Whiting
It is the summer of 2010 and I am loading my three kids into the minivan for the five-hour drive to Toledo to visit my family. At our first of many potty breaks, I decide to text my sister our ETA. So, I dig to the bottom of my purse to retrieve my cell phone–a cute little purple Samsung with a full sliding keyboard (an upgrade from my old red flip phone with only 10 keys!).
I open the phone and the screen is blank. I plug it in to charge. Still dead. I hold down all the buttons and smack the phone against my hand several times (because that always works).
Dead-dead.
Ugh. I can’t be without a phone while I am traveling alone with my kids.
As soon as we get settled in at my sister’s, I drive to the AT&T store where a good friend of mine works so I could buy a replacement. I love my fancy purple phone, so I ask my friend, Tommy, for the same one. Instead, he hands me a large rectangle with a glass screen and one button.
Me: What the heck is this?
Tommy: It’s an iPhone.
Me: ????
Tommy: This is like a handheld computer AND a phone. You can play games on it, listen to music, check your emails, go to The Facebook…you can even take pictures.
Me: I already have a nice camera. I already have an iPod for music. I don’t have time to play video games. And I can’t imagine a scenario where I would ever want to check my emails or The Facebook on my phone, let alone carry around a computer in my purse. No thanks.
Fast forward nine years
It’s 2019 and I am a proud owner of the iPhone 7–several versions behind what’s now available, but it works and I like it.
Not only do I regularly check email from three different accounts on my phone, but I also have all the social media apps downloaded and activated. I have an account on Twitter and Instagram, but I spend most of my time on Facebook (they have since dropped the“The”) where I have a personal account and an author page.
I’m constantly trying to share valuable content for my friends and followers that is authentic but not TMI, personal but also universally relatable. I’m always reframing thoughts and insights into short pithy quotes that will slow their scroll and increase “engagement.”
When I spend time with the Lord during my personal Bible study time, I’m distracted by how I can share what I’m learning on social media, rather than just focusing on the Lord and what I’m learning.
When I take a picture, I’m thinking how great it will look on my feed.
If I see a quote, I think about how to create a beautiful graphic for it.
For my own consumption, I follow real-life friends and family, as well as a mix of other authors, speakers, thinkers, comedians, celebrities, and tons of people I’ve never met and have no idea why we are “friends.” I belong to several Facebook groups, for some of which I pay a monthly membership fee.
Several of my otherwise lovely real-life friends and family have fallen into the fringes and regularly post controversial and politically charged content. When I read their stuff, I get angry and I think about it for days. In my head, I craft lengthy arguments against their ridiculousness. I sometimes write those arguments in the comments on their stupid posts, where I get sucked into giant fights with mean strangers. Then I feel guilty for wasting my time arguing with people and I go back and delete all my comments.
Even when I don’t post and scroll, I’m constantly thinking about what I’m posting next or how I *should* be doing it better or more often.
When I’m on social media, I feel guilty for not doing something more valuable with my time. And when I’m not on social media, I feel guilty for not spending enough time curating a beautiful feed that will attract my target audience. I can’t win.
It’s insidious.
The mental preoccupation is maddening and all-consuming.
In a radical-to-me move, I take a one-year break from social media. After a brief return, I decide I don’t want to be there at all. In March 2021, I leave social media for good.
Fast forward two and a half years
It’s December 2023 and I’m driving through town. My iPhone 12 (still not the latest version!) sits snuggly in a plastic holder, screwed into my air vent. I’m following GPS through a familiar part of town. I keep it on in case of bad traffic so that I can quickly find an alternate route.
I’m also listening to a podcast.
At the red light, my finger moves instinctively to the email icon, where I check for new messages. Since I don’t have time to respond to emails, I mark it “unread” and go instead to the Voxer app where I check messages there.
A text comes in.
I glance at that before the light turns green.
At the next red light, I quickly respond to the text.
I see a funny bumper sticker on the car in front of me and snap a picture of it to share with my daughter.
Then open my email app again.
And my Voxer app again.
I check the weather.
What am I even looking for?
All this, before the light turns green.
My iPhone is my constant companion. I literally use it all day, every day. I bought several pairs of special running pants with a side pocket on the thigh specifically to hold my phone. And, of course, I wear these pants every day.
I thought social media kept me glued to my iPhone (and it did.) I thought when I rid my life of social media, I also rid myself of my phone addiction (I didn’t.)
I think back to that moment in the AT&T store in 2010 when I could not imagine a day that I’d want to check emails on my phone.
I remove the email app from my phone.
If you are feeling a bit too dependent upon your smartphone and want to do something about it, you are going to love today’s episode. I’m talking with my friend, podcaster, author, and mother, Teresa Whiting about the 40-Day Flip Phone Challenge that she and her 23-year-old son took last year. She gives it to us straight, both the clarity and the confusion of navigating life without her smartphone. This is part 1 of a 2-part conversation.
We discuss:
What is on Teresa’s To-Don’t List (and two To-Don’t List contenders because she fully embodies the To-Don’t List concept )
What led to Teresa’s first 40-day flip phone challenge with her 23-year-old son.
What it means practically to temporarily use a flip phone instead of an iPhone
Teresa’s relationship with social media (related but separate from the flip phone challenge)
Initial observations from her first days without a smartphone
The challenges of living without a smartphone/what she missed
What happened when she stopped having the constant input of information
More about Teresa
Teresa Whiting is passionate about inviting women to discover the beautiful, redemptive work of Jesus in the midst of their broken lives. As a pastor's wife and ministry leader of more than 30 years, she has walked with countless women through their real-life struggles. Teresa is an author, national speaker, and host of the Find Hope Here podcast. She holds a degree in Bible and counseling and is a trauma-informed Biblical life coach.
Her recently published Bible study, DisGraced: How God Redeems and Restores the Broken, is an outworking of her own story. A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Teresa has taken steps toward healing and freedom from shame through friendships with women like Tamar, Rahab, and the Samaritan woman.
She and her husband, Greg, have five adult children and three grandsons. They are recent empty nesters living in sunny Florida. In her happy place, you'll find her walking the beach, hanging out with her family, or exploring God's creation, untethered from technology.
Teresa speaks locally and nationally for women's events. Her talks have been described as "unique, refreshing, relatable, and healing." To book her for your next ministry event, visit this page.
Love,
Sandy